The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1 (2014)

"Are you, are you coming to the tree? Wear a necklace of hope, side by side with me. Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be if we met at midnight in the hanging tree."

The next installment of the Hunger Games series takes place shortly after "Catching Fire" and a rebellion against the Capitol is in full swing. Our hero, Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence), is finally given a chance to catch her breath after the exhilarating events surrounding the Quarter Quell. She is reunited with her mother (Paula Malcomson), her sister Prim (Willow Shields) and best friend Gale (Liam Hemsworth) in District 13 - the secret, underground territory and headquarters for the rebellion. Now, however reluctant and emotionally broken she may feel, Katniss is poised to be the face for the rebellion. Their "Mockingjay." 

Without a Hunger Games, "Mockingjay" is a step outside of the usual formula for this dystopian series. But that doesn't mean that the games are finished for Katniss. As the symbol for the rebellion she must play her role to satisfaction for the new "game makers": Plutarch Heavensby (the late Philip Seymour Hoffman) and Alma Coin (Julianne Moore). It's almost a throwback to the first games where we got to watch Seneca Crane make all the moves to stage the perfect Hunger Games. Now we watch these two masterminds behind the rebellion stage (and film) the perfect scene of Katniss at the battlefront for the perfect propaganda. 

Like all games, there are two sides. Everything on the opposing side is strategized and orchestrated by the nefarious President Snow (Donald Sutherland). His strategy, though, is much more personal. His reactions to the rebellion's blows are concentrated on more specific targets. He knows that if he can demoralize the Mockingjay then the rebellion will be defenseless against his final check mate. Just as Plutarch and Coin are using Katniss, Snow has his own weapon: Katniss' Hunger Games counterpart Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson). Katniss might have been confused about her feelings for Peeta before, but those feelings seem to be much more apparent as she watches Peeta's bruised face on the TV denounce the rebellion. The games go on, and the games affect Katniss more. The PTSD is real and through terrible shocks of a destroyed home, a tortured Peeta and hellish nightmares Katniss becomes more broken.

"Mockingjay" is the deepest of the three movies. I believe most people would agree that the third book is the weakest of the trilogy, but director Francis Lawrence manages to faithfully stick to the source material while enhancing on the emotion. It's an adaptation that everyone can be happy with. One scene particularly stood out to me as one of the most feels-inducing, if you will. While Katniss is visiting District 8 with Gale and her film crew, hoping to deliver some hope to the hopeless, the Capitol retaliates to the Mockingjay sighting by blowing up a hospital full of innocent, wounded people. PTSD or not, Katniss can still perform under pressure and she won't go down before whipping out her bow and arrow and shooting down a PLANE. Action aside, what is emotionally stirring about this scene is Katniss' subsequent powerful punch to Snow on camera. "If we burn, you burn with us."

Let's be honest. This would be nothing without Jennifer Lawrence. Katniss is portrayed so genuinely and honestly. You watch her work in these films and it's no question how Lawrence has shot to the top so quickly in movie stardom. She is the girl on fire, but she brings something bigger to the table in this film. Even the subtle scenes - like thumbing Peeta's pearl to calm her anxiety - show her emotional depth. She is never over the top (a drawback in the source material, which was written in first person), her outbursts in anger are natural for the broken hero. I believe the scene featuring her singing of "The Hanging Tree" perfectly culminates Lawrence's ability to emotionally reach out to an audience, I certainly know I was moved. Just as the rebellion was nothing without the Mockingjay, the movies are nothing without her either.

The supporting performances are equally as impressive. I must admit, it was a little heartbreaking to watch Hoffman and realize that we will never be surprised by him again. Woody Harrelson as Haymitch and Elizabeth Banks as Effie Trinket also deliver in their small but key roles. Donald Sutherland portrays Snow with such subtle cruelty and, man, are we excited for his comeuppance. Stanley Tucci, though no more than a cameo, is still a pleasant face in a dark world. Julianne Moore, however, is the greatest addition to his already stellar cast. With her Cruella de Ville-like locks and her calculating but sympathetic eyes she is the perfect face for the rebellion's leader. Lawrence may be the star, but this isn't all her show.

The ending is rather abrupt as Hollywood once again exploits a franchise' success by splitting a 390 page novel into two movies. Like, seriously. It was ridiculous with "Twilight" and even more ridiculous with "The Hobbit." However, despite the abrupt ending (and rather cruel tease), I actually agreed with this decision for the first time. The novel is a confusing mix of an emotionally driven first half to an action packed second act. It would have been a rushed, confusing mix as a movie, too. Splitting it into two movies allows for the audience to compartmentalize those emotions and no doubt "Mockingjay: Part 2" will bring this series to a satisfying conclusion next year.

It may be nothing more than a set up, but Mockingjay: Part 1 still delivers an emotionally stirring transition to the conclusion of The Hunger Games series. 8/10

Stand By Me (1986)

"Do you guys want to go see a dead body?" Everyone stopped. It's the summer of 1959 in Castlerock, Oregon and a local boy has gone missing. 12-year-old Vern (Jerry O'Donnell), overweight, timid and bullied, approaches his three friends Gordie, Chris, and Teddy with the proposal for the ultimate summer adventure to find the body and collect the reward. Rob Reiner's adaptation of Stephen King's novella "The Body" exquisitely captures the vulnerability of youth and the heart of true friendship in this simple yet sweeping story.

This troubled but carefree band of brothers rely on each other through summer days with contraband cigarettes in their treehouse for a home. Our narrator Gordie (Wil Wheaton) is coping after the recent death of his older brother and subsequent neglect at home. Teddy (Corey Feldman) nearly had his ear burned off by his father who is now confined to a mental institution. Chris (River Phoenix) is beaten by his alcoholic dad and regularly stereotyped as a criminal. These boys are there for each other through the deep stuff that troubles youth but doesn't screw them up enough to ruin summer fun just yet. They set off with backpacks, Cokes, and Converse shoes and through episodes with leeches in the river, close calls with trains, and quintessential stories by the campfire, these boys are brought closer together like nothing but shared experience of searching for a dead body can. This is more than band camp.

Everything is just so incredibly real. These kids are at the bridge between boyhood and maturation. They talk about the greater issues of life, "Hey guys! What animal IS Goofy anyway?""You think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman?" in the poignant campfire scene. But though they laugh at the hysterical tale of "Lardass" anyone can see that the true issues of family instability and uncertain futures plague over them. I've never been a 12-year-old boy, but I can still relate to many of their pre-teen ideals. I remember what it was like to bury real pain and shake off real issues with fantasy games with my friends. (On that note - why is that that there are no stories about groups of girls? Just a thought).

River Phoenix has never acted this great, and the scene between Chris and Gordie stands as a defining moment not just for the climax of the movie, but for all of childhood. Maybe you didn't have a friend like that, but you certainly wanted one. He is the rock of the group and knows how to calm fears and invoke courage in one conversation. The heart of this movie are the characters and Reiner nailed it with his acting picks. These kids can handle heavy scenes like pros. Will Wheaton's delivery is neither forced nor contrived but is still deliberate and emotional. His excellent acting is coupled with one of Kiefer Sutherland's better performances as the local bully, Ace. 

Ace: "What are you gonna do? Shoot us all?"

Gordie: "No, Ace. Just you."

With characters we can fall in love with, a script that is sharp, raw, & realistic, and cameos from Richard Dreyfuss and John Cusack you have yourself a movie that will stay with you. Honestly, I don't know what it is about it that gets me every time. It's been nearly six years since I saw it for the first time and there is something timeless about it that touches me and has resonated with me. Maybe it's the nostalgic music. Maybe it's because it reminds me of summer. Stand By Me can rest with the likes of To Kill a Mockingbird and The Man in the Moon as one of the greatest and most timeless coming of age stories around. I am a sucker for these poignant stories bc THE FEELS. And every time I watch it, I am reminded of the friends with whom I've shared something. 9/10

"I never had any friends later on like the ones when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?" 

Inception (2010)

I will always remember the first time I saw Inception. Because I was living in Tahiti when it came out I wasn't able to see it right away (unless I wanted to hear a francophone Leo which I'm not really into). I was geeking out for WEEKS leading up to its release nonetheless and doing everything I could to avoid the internets. I would talk to my friends on the phone and the second the conversation turned to the great new Christopher Nolan flick I'd shout "STAHHHHP!!!" and then their eardrums broke. I lost friends. I take spoilers verrrrrry seriously.

I saw it within a week of being home. Three times. I remember eating Red Robin with two of my guy friends and not having two seconds to eat my onion rings because we couldn't shut up about whether or not the top was still spinning or whether it was wobbling. (Kinda sad I couldn't have enjoyed those onion rings more). But I was just so mind-blown. I had endless discussions about the ending, the music, the buildings folding on top of other buildings, how beautiful Joseph Gordon Levitt and Tom Hardy are, and the fact that THERE'S A ZERO-GRAVITY FIGHT SCENE. Those conversations didn't stop for weeks.

Where Following is Memento's father, Inception is Memento's son. Inception borrows elements from both films and marks Nolan's first original film since Following. I mention these connections because I have not been so floored by a movie since seeing the 1998 & 2001 predecessors. Though Inception is more impressive on a visual scale than Memento, we are still thrown for loops and twists in the narrative (albeit linearly this time). Memento is a puzzle built on polaroids and tattoos. Inception is a maze in a much more literal sense. The very buildup of the dreams in Inception is a labyrinth mirroring the maze that we the audience must navigate. Most of the time we're disoriented and confused, so we just have to trust that Nolan knows what he's doing and that we'll make it out safely. He didn't lead us astray in Memento, so we're confident it'll all make sense in the end this time, too.

Dom Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) is a thief (another nod to Following). His burglarizing territory, though, is not homes, offices, or computers. He specializes in breaking into the mind stealing secrets from high executives and business tycoons in their sleep. His skills make him a coveted player in this new game of corporate espionage. After a mission seemingly gone wrong, Cobb and his partner Arthur (Joseph Gordon Levitt) are approached with a risky job of a different nature by a wealthy Japanese businessman named Saito (Ken Watanabe). Instead of asking them to extract an idea, he asks them to plant one. His target is the heir to a rival company, Robert Fischer (Cillian Murphy). If all goes well, Fischer will wake up from a dream and decide on his own to dissolve his father's company.

It appears, though, that inception - the plantation process, not the movie title - is harder to pull off than their run-of-the-mill extraction jobs. "Don't think about elephants. What are you thinking about?" "Elephants." Arthur explains, "Right, but it's not your idea. The dreamer can always remember the genesis of the idea. True inspiration is impossible to fake." "No it's not," Cobb disagrees. He doesn't go into detail, but he knows it's possible because he's done it before. Despite the imminent risks, the stakes are high for Dom. He is less motivated by the excitement and intriguing concept of "inception" and more by Saito's promise to let Cobb walk away from the business and return home to his kids. Dom, after all, means "home" in most Slavic languages. DiCaprio plays Cobb similarly to his performance of Teddy Daniels in Shutter Island. Both are driven to obsession over loss and guilt (more on that later) and Leo can deliver in that type of role

So in true classic heist movie fashion, Cobb assembles his team to get the job done. Along with right hand man Arthur we have Eames (Tom Hardy), the "forger", shape shifter, and scruffy badass (associated with Ray & Charles Eames - famous architects), Yusuf (Dileep Rao) the sedative-concocting chemist (think Joseph - biblical dream interpreter to add to the name-tally), and Ariadne (Ellen Page) the maze-building architect wiz. Cobb is introduced to Ariadne by his father-in-law Miles (Michael Caine) who seems to know the ropes of the dream-invading course but doesn't run it anymore. It's just one of those things where Michael Caine appears on screen and you automatically assume he is wiser than anyone else and he definitely knew what he was doing when he brought the new girl on.

Cobb shows Ariadne just how limitless her power is in dreamland. We learn right along with her that physics and gravity no longer matter and architectural paradoxes are now possible. This is where all of the special effects eye candy happen and we're not disappointed by the grandeur and dazzling impossibilities. Not only does Ariadne build the mazes, she is the guide. Just like Ariadne the daughter of King Minos helped guide Theseus through Minotaur's labyrinth, she guides the characters and the audience through the maze of Inception and Fischer's brain. (More name significance, guys). Ellen Page portrays her with just as much realism and intelligence as she did the lead character in Juno three years earlier. We trust her like Cobb trusts her and her character is cleverly devised to enlighten us in this unfamiliar subliminal territory.

As an aside to that thought, let me give a plug to Nolan's storytelling genius, here. It is brought to our attention that we never really remember the beginning of our dreams - we always end up in the middle of the action. Holding to that idea, Inception is much more about process than about beginnings. Of course the idea behind dream invasion is foreign to our concept of reality. But the origins to the dream-sharing don't matter. During Ariadne's apprenticeship, we are provided with just enough detail to keep us satisfied, but ultimately we are enveloped in the process of this dream-world, not with how it came to be.

I digress.

Though special effects and visual bravado trump emotion in the story arc, the one relationship we are invested in is that between Cobb and his late wife Mal (enchantingly played by Marion Cotillard). Though Cobb is, like, on the run, forbidden to return to the US on charges for her murder. It's complicated. Mal is by far the most interesting character of the bunch. We get to know her as she haunts Cobb's dreams and the dreams he shares with others sabotaging their missions along the way. We feel invaded by her piercing gaze, enchanted by her curly bob and French accent, and haunted by the way she thumbs that knife. Her character is so complex and deeply layered that we connect to her internal conflict better than any of the other comparatively thinly-written characters. Cobb is driven to near insanity with guilt and grief over her death and his intense love for his unstable wife. If we're going to keep going with the whole name thing then "Mal" is "bad" in French which unmistakably reflects on her infecting presence in the dreams.

Also noteworthy is Marion Cotillard's connection to Edith Pilaf's song "Non je ne regrette rien" - a fun little inside joke with that key plot device.

Since it is so difficult to plant an idea without the dreamer detecting its origins and since Mal is making it her business to sabotage Cobb's missions they need to delve deep into the subconscious. A dream within a dream within a dream, if you will. Everything comes to a climax in the dream-sequence that spans over an hour of screen time. Fischer's name is no doubt a nod to the game of mind-chess that is going down in his psyche and each character needs to carefully strategize to get the check mate at precisely the right time. Regret, loss, obsession, and redemption are important themes intertwined with the intense action sequences jam packed with special effects. It's visually enthralling, mind-bending, confusing, and moving all at the same time. The more I write, the less sense it makes. It really is something that should be experienced.

That end, tho.

I won't get into it too much. Just like the beginning matters less than the process, the end is the same. Some argue that it was all a dream. Indeed, the audience doesn't have a totem like the characters do to distinguish reality and dreams and are therefore never clearly able to identify a given scene as reality. This would explain why the other characters are flat since they're only projections of Cobb's subconscious and it would also negate most plot holes. It's a compelling theory, but ultimately I am of the camp that there was some reality and that Cobb is not dreaming right before the credits roll (the he wasn't wearing his wedding ring, the kids are older, the top was definitely wobbling camp). Why? I don't know, maybe because I would like to think that Cobb found some happiness and catharsis in real life, not just in his dreams. Regardless of whether or not the top toppled after the screen turned black is rendered irrelevant because Cobb doesn't care anymore. He doesn't obsess over his dreams like he used to and he has emotionally broken through prepared to be with his kids again.

These theories are fun to hash out, but they're not why I love Inception. My experience with this movie four years ago changed the way I viewed dreams and my expectations for sci-fi movies. It anchors me in to experience something phenomenal. The music is enthralling, and the wholly original plot exciting. In short, Inception dazzles and reminds us why movies can be magical. 9/10

My last plug for the name thing: Dom, Robert, Eames, Arthur, Mal, Saito = DREAMS. Wut.

American Psycho (2000)

Everyone day-dreams. It's automatic. To fantasize is an exciting ability of our psyche that many of us thrive off of. Think about it. Every time you go on a date there's probably a before, during, and/or after day-dream of some sort. There certainly is for me. Before a date my mind goes through a best-case/worst-case scenario and I wander to the realm of what-if's. What if he kisses me? What if I say something witty that makes him laugh? What if he doesn't like me, what if he tries to take advantage of me? What if I punch him? Yeah, that would be pretty funny... Then there's the after-date fantasies. You replay over and over in your mind the things that happened and you dream about what didn't happen. You dream about what it was like to kiss them or what it would have been like to kiss them or what it would have been like to go further. In the mind there's no such thing as jumping to conclusions too quickly - everything is fair game. Pretty soon, though, you're criss-crossing reality with fantasy and you can hardly distinguish what was real and what wasn't. It doesn't matter if it actually happened or if it is all fake because in your mind everything is real. To quote Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, "Of course it is happening inside your head... But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" 

Our mind and our imagination are absolutely incredible. Sometimes dreams, or even day-dreams, can haunt us, though, and be so invasive that they creep into our reality. Our minds, in essence, affect our existence. What we imagine combined with what is real can change the way we view people and situations. The idea of imagination mixed with reality is explored and examined in American Psycho. 

Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale) is a 20 something Wall Street yuppie living his own American dream. On the surface he has everything going for him. He's attractive and healthy, he's got a hot fiancée (Reese Witherspoon), and he's living in Manhattan and making the big bucks as an investment banker. Every morning he wakes up and goes through his same beautification routine using 20 different gel cleansers and exfoliating lotions. He does his stretching, his yoga, his push ups and sit ups. He is the American dream. But there's something hiding behind his perfect exterior. His appearance and careful selection of his business card or his watch ("don't touch the watch") is a metaphor for his materialistic drive into nothingness for he gains no emotional reward. "There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there." 

You see, this man who has it all is also a sadistic murderer. It's nothing overly premeditated - it's just something to do. It's a stress relief after a day in the office. Some people go on shopping sprees, Bateman goes on killing sprees. "I just had to kill a lot of people!" This drastic change in the typical Wall street routine puts the "psycho" in this American story. It's graphic, it's unsettling, and you can't take your eyes off any of it.

If you'll allow me to step back momentarily I want to make it clear that most of the time that I was watching American Psycho, I had no idea what the hell was going on. Even now - after watching it three times, writing and re-writing drafts on drafts on drafts of blog posts - I still don't have a clue what the hell was going on. But director Mary Harron and author Bret Eastman have succeeded in getting me to think for hours about the man who works in murders and executions - I mean mergers and acquisitions. 

I'll come back to Patrick. 

Here's the thing: the more you watch it (and really, I don't necessarily recommend watching it more than once - twice TOPS) the more you question. Nothing can be taken at face value, and that is where the worth lies in this masterpiece - albeit a flawed masterpiece. It succeeds in its agenda as an over-the-top satirical commentary on yuppies and greed and I must admit there was some entertainment value embedded in the disturbing over-the-toppery of Christian Bale and his business constituents (including Jared Leto, Justin Theroux, Josh Lucas, and Bill Sage). But at the end of the day, the question remains: what was real?

What is over-the-top on the surface is even more exaggerated and grotesque in the mind of our protagonist - assuming that these murders were, in fact, a figment of Bateman's imagination. This conclusion is shared by many, though the ending is meant to be ambiguous. Of course these brutal murders being imaginary is not apparent throughout the film despite the outrageous circumstances surrounding his threesome with two prostitutes and the subsequent physical abuse, his chasing a girl through an apartment suite butt naked with a chain saw and the praise he is given by a homeless victim whom Bateman blatantly insults and, well, murders. 

That's because everything is from HIS perspective and from HIS mind. It's all terribly real to Patrick. Not only is it real, but it's perfect. He insults with wit and timeliness. He sleeps with beautiful women and the sex is perfect. His murders are ravenous and maniacal but they feed his appetite. For a while after I saw this movie I came to believe that the murders were actually real just glorified in Patrick's crazed mind. It is all too crazy to be 100% real, but perhaps some of it was - only less perfectly executed and not so uncannily timed to Huey Lewis and the News. I might add, though, that the incredible use of soundtrack is strong evidence that this is actually happening in his head. Like, he's sitting on his leather couch plugged in to Whitney Houston and day dreaming about his next killing spree.

However, as soon as that ATM starts telling him to insert a kitten instead of a card and a police car just explodes, everyone's dropping eff bombs realizing that things aren't adding up anymore. Your expression of disbelief mirrors that of Patrick's as he stares at the exploding car and showing - for the first time in the movie - a sense of fear and bewilderment. It's as if he, too, realizes that reality and fantasy are merging and he can't believe what he is seeing anymore. With some superb acting by Christian Bale, Patrick shows vulnerability in just one expression. Despite how disgusted we are with his character, we see that there is a soul beneath this twisted, mentally insane man.

The problem that I see with this theory - the "everything wasn't real" theory - is that there is no barrier between what WAS real and what WASN'T. Take, for example, detective Donald Kimball (Willem Dafoe). Is that character completely made up? Is he a product of Bateman's mind reacting to his psychological deterioration? Because seriously when he pulls out that Huey Lewis CD you know that it can't be happening. Can it? Was he there? Who was there?

Also, the blood on the sheets? If that scene at the laundromat WASN'T real, then why was it even included? I'm just saying.

The only character I'm positive is not made up is the secretary, Jean (Chloe Sevigny). The scene where he takes her out and nearly murders her (all the while cracking Ted Bundy jokes) is another example of the lines between reality and fantasy being merged and indistinguishable. There is something real and tangible about that relationship - something not found in his interactions with any other character. Chloe Sevigny plays the genuine, soft-spoken secretary well and allows us to emotionally connect with someone more familiar to us.

The consistent theme of mistaken identity is the key to making any sense of the meaning behind the ambiguity. The humorous scene with the business cards is the most telling scene of American Psycho. The businessmen discussing the wording, embossing, color, thickness, engraving and typefaces are merely suits - their rivalries are over cards and dinner reservations, not over actual people. It's always someone who looks like someone else, a name forgotten, and a reputation without a face. No one remembers anyone's names because everyone looks the same, dresses the same, and has similar jobs. No one has individuating qualities. It's hard to follow the dialogue with Bateman and his colleagues because they keep calling each other by different names. If Patrick was actually a murderer, it essentially doesn't matter because no one cares enough about what's going on in each other's lives to do something about it. 

This theme could also be an argument for the reality of the murders. Bateman's therapist claims he ate lunch with Paul Allen in London after Bateman murdered him - this could be because it didn't actually happen or it could be because the therapist can't remember who Paul Allen is either. Bateman tries to confess but no one listens because no one cares. Paul Allen's apartment is for sale because it's been vacated of its previous occupant (dead) and the real estate agent would rather lie about finding dead bodies than decrease the value in the apartment. Perhaps the message is in the incredulity at such a self-absorbed, shallow society depicted to extremes with bright crimson blood splatters.

Which is right? Was it real or was it in his head? Unfortunately either conclusion pertaining to the reality of the events comes with plot holes and so it's difficult to come to a firm conclusion. But I don't think there is one right answer. I think that both sides are intertwined in this ambiguous message - the reality and the fantasy are mixed and indistinguishable just like in our day-dreams. I do think that most of the action is going on in his head, but that doesn't make it any less real.

The ideas and character study are fascinating and ultimately the film works because of Christian Bale's incredible performance. There is no self-preservation in his acting and he allows the audience to hate Bateman's despicable character without guile. It's a breakthrough performance for the future Bruce Wayne and Academy Award Winner. American Psycho is incredible in the realm of its own agenda. It's a graphic and gruesome commentary and a wild, amusing ride, if you can stomach it. Now I've got to go return some videotapes. 7/10

Toy Story (1995)

From the get-go Pixar was something special.  They needed no practice runs.  Toy Story raised the bar to infinity and beyond for animated pictures featuring both a quality story for all ages and top notch animation.  Although Pixar does nothing but improve in the effects department from here on out, the detail here is still incredible and better than any other animated predecessor.

So Andy (voiced by John Morris) is a kid just like any other who enjoys playing with his favorite toys.  But - spoilers! - as soon as he leaves the room, his toys come alive. Our chief character and leader of the pack is Sheriff Woody (Tom Hanks), Andy’s favorite toy.  Other toys include Mr. Potato Head (Don Rickles), Hamm (John Ratzenberger), Rex (Wallace Shawn), and Slink (Jim Varney).  After Andy’s birthday party (a very delicate affair complete with green army dudes and Playskool walkie-talkies for a stake out) the new toy arrives. Buzz Lightyear of star command (Tim Allen) is pretty new to the toy-verse.  He still believes he’s a space ranger (“Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Zurg has been secretly building a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet.  I alone have information that reveals this weapon’s only weakness.” - Star Wars anybody?) but regardless his mental state, there’s no denying that this toy is slick.  He comes complete with a karate chop action arm, wings, glow in the dark capabilities, a laser, and his helmet does that WHOOSH thing.  Pretty soon Woody is no longer the bee’s knees amongst his peers and owner.  Laser envy!  Buzz and Woody’s rivalry takes them on adventures they never could have imagined in their toy dreams,  “one minute you’re defending the whole galaxy, and, suddenly, you find yourself sucking down darjeeling with… Marie Antoinette and her little sister.”

Obviously Toy Story broke ground being the first film to be completely created by computer. The animation is new, fresh, and entirely liberating from its 2-D predecessors. I mean, I can't even fathom the amount of work that went into this baby project of John Lasseter and his fantastic team. It's hard for us - most specifically my generation - to recognize how significant Toy Story is. I mean, we've been around for all of Pixar's greats. But when I watched this today, I thought about how Toy Story marked the beginning of a new era for animated movies. And that's pretty cool.

Several other things stand out, though. First of all, Pixar proved that an animated flick (or any flick) doesn’t have to be childish to appeal to kids. I enjoy Disney movies as much as the next person, but never before had an animated movie captured its audiences of ALL ages with a script so sophisticated and witty. “Hey look I’m Picasso!” “Gee, I don’t get it.” “You uncultured swine!” Toy Story marks the first animated movie to ever be nominated for best screenplay and the writing is, indeed, something to be remembered. Even more than the lines, though, is the story and the characters. 

It got us to understand what toys are all about. Every child has had a favorite toy at one time or another. And these toys are real. Real enough that they feel, think, and act but their intentions are pure and their loyalty is earnest. Our Sheriff Woody knows that true joy for a toy comes from bringing happiness to their boy Andy. It's almost like the relationship to these charming characters is reciprocal - you can FEEL how much these toys just want to love and be loved. It makes you feel like you're back safe in your childhood. This movie also deals with issues far deeper than your usual happily ever after tale.  No one wants to be forgotten or left behind. It steers clear of the traditional animated-musical format but gets those emotions pumping all the same with Randy Newman's perfectly timed soundtrack.

All of the characters are timeless and lovable but Buzz particularly stands out as the cocky space toy, er, ranger who falls with style better than anyone I know.  His character is so endearing to the audience because of his naiveté and the poignancy that comes when he finally realizes he is just a toy. That scene is just... THE FEELS. 

Though it only gets better with Toy Story 2, there’s no denying the original remains one of Pixar’s very best - as well as its most influential. It isn't getting old any time soon. 9/10 

Other notes:

John Lasseter won a Special Achievement Award for "For the development and inspired application of techniques that have made possible the first feature-length computer-animated film."

Toy Story was also nominated for Best Original Screenplay, Best Music Original Song ("You've Got a Friend in Me"), and for Best Music, Original Music or Comedy Score (Randy Newman).

Ranked #99 in AFI's Top 100 Years... 100 Films list in 2007.

Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942)

"My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you."

I first saw Yankee Doodle Dandy when I was 10 years old. The older I get, the more impressed I become with how extensive my film repertoire was at that age. I have no idea how I was able to sit through some of those super old movies, (Birth of a Nation, anyone?) but whatever, I'm awesome. It's fine.

This is the George M. Cohan biopic. As his fame had died by the end of the film, so it has in American pop culture today - though most Americans would probably recognize his more famous tunes. Born on the fourth of July to two vaudeville performers Jerry (Walter Huston) and Nellie (Rosemary DeCamp) George (James Cagney) and his younger sister Josie (played by Cagney's real-life sister Jeanne Cagney) grew up performing and could dance and sing quicker than they could walk and talk. Collectively their act was known as "The Four Cohans" but it is made clear that young George was the star. He went on to be one of the most successful entertainers, playwrights, and composers in America's history. So, naturally, Yankee Doodle is the cookie cutter childhood-to-old age/rags-to-riches life sketch film told through flashbacks/voice overs. Aren't all showbiz stories told this way? One obligatory scene follows another: birth, childhood, humility period, success, failure, love, marriage, parents' death, retirement. Each scene is, of course, encased with a different grand, upbeat musical number. I guess you could say that this movie set the trend for other future '40s musicals but that's neither here nor there.

Of course, everything is also coated in shameless patriotism. Just after the attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941 the morale boosting "Over There" and "You're a Grand Old Flag" - though originally released years earlier for WWI - were brought back to the surface in this movie to capitalize on the war-time propaganda of the '40s. However, its propaganda threat is minimal and in no way forceful. Though unplanned, I happened to watch this around our beloved country's birthday. Talk about patriotism in Independence Day and all dem Tom Cruise movies and Yankee Doodle Dandy fits the bill for one of the most American movies out there. Sure a few choice songs and well-placed flags have got audiences feeling nostalgic for the land they love but the obvious American themes and the timeliness of its release being considered, this is still just a sing and dance movie. The agenda is not pushed. You just might be able to see a little red, white, and blue poking out through all that black and white.

(This film was, incidentally, the first ever computer-colorized film released in 1986... but we don't need to talk about that).

(And again, I compare to Birth of a Nation which is one of the most propaganda-filled, racially-charged films ever and this is nowhere near that level. Don't worry, I'll get to that movie soon).

This review and re-watch of Yankee Doodle Dandy is just the beginning of a rather large project to watch all of the AFI Top 100 movies. With every movie that I review, I'm trying to look for the elements that set these films apart from others. Why were they chosen? Why should we like them? As I thought about this in regards to Yankee Doodle Dandy, I came to the conclusion that the single element that makes this movie just one cut above the rest is the star himself: James Cagney. Because honestly, besides notable historical implications and patriotic themes that obviously have influenced America this movie is nothing spectacular - besides the absolutely spectacular performance of Cagney.

In the last few weeks I have now seen three other James Cagney movies. His notable performances in White Heat (1949), Angels with Dirty Faces (1938*), and Love Me or Leave Me (1955*)  really contributed to a deeper appreciation of his talent and an increased perspective on his performance as George Cohan. I mean, it's like how I kind of think it's strange that Marlon Brando (THE GODFATHER) was ever in Guys in Dolls, so it is that Cagney - known at that time mostly for gangster roles - was a fish out of water as the singing and dancing entertainer. Though not his debut in a musical, he was still dancing in unfamiliar territory before audiences, but man is he not shy. He gives this performance his all with a unique dancing style (how do his legs even move like that?) and superbly steals every scene. I noticed this in his other films, but I especially noticed in Yankee Doodle Dandy how he demands attention every time he's on screen. You cannot help but stare at him - and nothing else. Everything about his singing, his mannerisms, his dancing, his facial expressions is grandiose and a spectacle you can't take your eyes off of.

To back this up, two particular scenes stood out to me. First, the scene early on when 20-something George meets his future wife Mary (Joan Leslie). He's made-up as an old man, but Mary is led to believe his beard, long white hair and cain are authentic and she's speaking with a respected performer of 86. Slowly George - in character as this old man - starts to move. He first stands with difficulty, but within just a few minutes he's kicking his legs higher than a ballerina and spinning around faster than a merry-go-round while Mary just gawks at him like WUTT.

Second, Cohan exits with a bang as he wraps up his life-story to Franklin D. Roosevelt of all people in the White House of all places. (As an additional historical side note, this is the first time any movie has featured an actor playing the current US President). As he exits the building, he walks down the steps. And he starts to dance. Completely improvised, done in one take, only 20 seconds long and impeccably timed to the building background music culminating the end of a story, James Cagney wasn't about to let the White House staircase best him in a scene.

You can't take your eyes off him.

Other notes:
Directed by Michael Curtiz
Won Academy Awards for Best Actor (James Cagney), Best Music, Scoring of a Musical Picture, Best Sound and was nominated for Best Picture, Best Supporting Actor (Walter Huston), Best Director (Michael Curtiz), Best Film Editing, and Best Writing Original Story.
It was ranked #100 in AFI's Top 100 Years... 100 Films list in 1998 and #98 in 2007.
*Cagney was nominated for an Oscar in these two films as well.

And as for my opinion, though irrelevant, I would rank it an 8/10.

Up in the Air (2009)

It's funny. 2009 really doesn't feel like that long ago. In 2009, I was living in Tahiti. I was 18 and gratefully less affected by the terrible economic recession that blew away America. I remember hearing about my friends and my friend's parents losing jobs. It felt like a distant reality, but strangely close to home since it was hurting people I loved.

This might have affected me more had I seen it in the moment, but I think watching it now - five years later - allowed for an interesting reflection on my adult life. Where I'm headed, where I've been, what I haven't experienced, and what I'm sure glad I didn't experience in 2009.

Ryan Bingham (George Clooney) is a corporate downsizing expert. In other words, he fires people for a living. He spends 75% of the year flying across the country doing other boss's dirty work. Him being a dick sort of comes with the territory, but he isn't disagreeable by any means. He's simply a man that's good at what he does: suavely helping these eliminated excess employees "transition." He gives them an opportunity, not the end of the line.

He's a proud loner. The airport, the airplane, the air itself is his home, and he's perfectly fine that way. He's in the zone when in transit, when going for drink at terminal 2, when renting vehicles. No wife, no kids, he relishes his frequent flyers position and his life pursuit is to reach 10 million miles. The films hinges on the development of his character and Clooney majestically makes Ryan relatable to all of us. This is George Clooney just getting better with age, and he delivers an absolutely masterful performance. I don't think we really realize how great he actually is in this movie. He does everything so effortlessly! He laughs the laugh of a sad man who doesn't know he's sad. He speaks purposefully but with an undertone of uncertainty. He develops but it isn't an instantaneous, forced change by any means.

This change is initially instigated when Ryan meets Alex (Vera Farmiga). Alex is, in essence, the female version of Ryan. They meet in his zone. In transit. For a drink. For a one night stand. Ryan learns a lot about himself in his fleeting relationship with Alex. He is terrified yet entranced by this mirror image of himself. Farmiga is fabulous as this smart and sexy commitment-free frequent flyer. She's good in anything.

Ryan develops further in his travels with Natalie (Anna Kendrick). Natalie is the newbie assigned to Ryan. He shows her the ropes of execution. Natalie is 23, ambitious, dismisses Ryan as "old", and a bit hot-headed. Ryan's career is threatened when Natalie introduces a cyber-firing method that will make his up in the air position obsolete. They travel together for a spell, ruining people's lives and discussing their views on life (which vastly differ from each other). Anna Kendrick fantastically contributes to this acting trio - all three were nominated for acting Oscars. These three characters are the meat of the film. The story is guided by a simple slice, a mere taste of these three lives intertwining - and their dialogue with each other, their simple human, realistic interactions are what make this film beautiful.

What makes this film so incredible is its poignant connection to reality. This is only Jason Reitman's third film after the marvelous Thank You For Smoking (2005), and Juno (2007). This guy - now age 37 - has some SERIOUS talent up his sleeve, he can do no wrong with character films. For the realism, Reitman used real footage of real people who had just been fired. It's a film for the times, with people like you and me reacting to some of the worst news they could ever receive - a worst fear for many. This stuff is REAL. I have never been fired, but I could feel it. I felt the pain, and the anger. THE FEELS, MAN.

I loved this movie because though, admittedly, it was kind of depressing, it's subtle. I love how unforcedly Ryan develops in his character. He doesn't go all 180 and settle down and realize he's missing out on life like something Hallmark. Despite what many movies teach us, change is hard and people don't actually change who they are over the weekend. Ryan doesn't. And it's refreshing. And yet, you still see a flicker of change growing deep down there. The start of a new outlook on life for the aged flyer.

Five years later, or whatever, but this might have been my pick for Best Picture in 2009. Closely matched with Inglourious Basterds. And I definitely think some acting Oscars should have been won.

Though the film certainly centers on our three leads, the supporting acting cannot be ignored. Jason Bateman, JK Simmons, and Zach Galifanakis in their small roles were enjoyable as usual. Up in the Air is a character study, and provides a great insight into people we see everyday but don't necessarily know. 8/10

Star Trek (2009)

Turned on Star Trek the original 1979 movie. And then I remembered I was a Star Wars girl and turned it off.
— Lauren Smith (@lauren_smith_17) April 8, 2014

I am a Star Wars girl. It's true. It's also true that I haven't yet been able to bring myself to watch the other Star Trek movies. I thought it was against some sort of nerd-code to like both. You know? Anyone else with me on this? Apparently you can like both. I just haven't quite made it to that level yet.

That being said, these new movies are the shiz. Do I think it's a LITTLE weird that JJ Abrams is doing both Star Wars AND Star Trek? Yes. It's kind of weird. And a little traitorous (the nerd-code thing). But he made Star Trek 4000 times cooler by turning it into Star Wars! Does that mean that next year when Star Wars Episode VII comes out it will be morphed into the Star Trek realm a little? Perhaps. We'll get there when we get there. 

But for the meantime, I will enjoy these movies.

All I knew about the 'verse before I saw this a few years back was some stuff about Captain Kirk, the Enterprise, and Spock, of course. And, like, William Shatner. And stuff from Galaxy Quest. So take that knowledge, and throw it all through an awesome time travel loop and you got my experience with Star Trek. 

This story starts on the day our beloved James Tiberius Kirk was born, the same day his hero father is martyred saving his all-star crew from some time traveling alien bastards in search of Ambassador Spock. Who is also just a little dude. Irrelevant. The bulk of the story takes place 25 years later and Kirk has grown up (played by Chris Pine), but still a younger, more brash, rebellious version than the Kirk most fans are used to. See this whole time-traveling thing works out great because we get to enjoy younger, more attractive versions of the usual Enterprise crew-members who essentially feed off their older selves. Kirk, Spock (Zachary Quinto), Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy, (Karl Urban), Uhura (Zoe Saldana), and Scotty (Simon Pegg) make up that crew, and they go through their growing pains with each other. When Spock meets his future self (played by Leonard Nimoy) he is shocked to hear that in this alternate all-too-familiar universe of original Spock & Kirk, he and Captain Kirk were best friends. Ultimately, the young crew, combat those same time-traveling alien bastards that killed Papa Kirk.

Besides all the cool time travel stuff (which, frankly, I'm super into), what gets me with this film is the characters and their interaction aboard the maiden voyage of the Enterprise. It being an origin story, we learn very interesting details about Kirk and Spock. Jim T's father made history in his battle against the nefarious Nero (awesomely hard-to-recognizely played by Eric Bana) and left Kirk with that legacy's shadow to hide from. He's convinced by Commander Pike (Bruce Greenwood) to join Starfleet, but his rebellious hot rod attitude inevitably clashes with straight-nosed half-Vulcan/half-human Spock. Spock is thoughtfully played by Zachary Quinto. He has a troubling background and goes through some serious emotional turmoil when his planet is blown up in front of him - Alderaan style. Spock is in a constant battle between his natural Vulcan instinct to be un-emotional and to proceed business as usual with his human side fighting from deep within to explode. Quinto's performance delivers something special: he stays true to character yet delivers every line and every gesture with subdued emotion and the feeling that something hot is boiling underneath his calm exterior.

If you're going to do a reboot - especially a reboot of a series so massive and with so many dedicated followers - this is the way to do it. Abrams goes back to the beginning (who doesn't love origin stories?) he brings out familiar characters but gives them a new twist, and he delivers everything with top-notch special effects, a clever story, great action sequences, and a good script to boot. If I knew more about science, I'm sure I'd be able to hate along with the rest of you on the actual implications of black holes and whatever. If I knew more about Star Trek in general, I might be able to do some hating that I'm sure I'll be throwing around when the new Star Wars comes out. But even long-timers can't hate on that new and improved Enterprise. It's beautiful. When it comes down to it, if we're talking about spectacle, 2009's Star Trek has got it. 8/10

Oblivion (2013)

The year is 2077. It's very interesting to me how these dystopian post-apocalyptic films want us to feel uncomfortable by always choosing a year that's not so far in the future. Why not 2248? Why not 2301? No, filmmakers want us to connect. They want us to feel ownership of our mother earth. 2077, this is us and our children we're talking about, here. We're nervous and uncomfortable because the 2077 Earth is much different than the earth we all know and love. It's an earth that's covered more with radioactive waste than it is people after a bunch of alien scavengers attacked it and strip it of its resources. 

Jack Harper (Tom Cruise) (why is EVERYONE named Jack?) is one of the last remaining people around. He chills in his little floating house in the sky with his working partner Victoria (Andrea Riseborough) while he repairs drones (little robot dudes) and gathers more resources from the planet. He is part of a massive operation to help prepare the way for the rest of Earth's population to make it to Titan, one of Saturn's moons. His memory has been wiped of the tragic war, and he's got questions with no answers. He doesn't go prying too far, though, until he finds a crashed spaceship with human survivors and he realizes that nothing can be taken at face value.

Oblivion is a fun film. It is a visual, sensational treat. I watched this cold turkey and please, if you're into sci-fi stuff, and if you've never heard of this before like I hadn't, then don't read this and go watch that instead. It's a good film experience. Then come back and we can talk about it some more. And if you've never seen Blade Runner, 2001: a Space Odyssey, I Am Legend, Prometheus, Wall-E, Minority Report, District 9 or especially Moon (I could keep going), then you'll probably leave thinking this is the greatest sci-fi film ever made. But... really, you should probably watch those first.

That being said, there will be spoilers.

So yeah, it's fun. But I found myself wondering the whole time whether all of this was going to come together or if any of it was going to make any sense and if I was ever going to care about any of it making sense. It's all surface. It's all superficial.

Let's talk about the plot: it's a good idea. It's a really good idea that Joseph Kosinski (TRON: Legacy) is executing for a great sci-fi film however let's be real, it's 2001 and we all KNEW the second there was an alien or robot or drone or whatever it's called we all knew that it was Hal 9000, red light and everything. Of course the aliens were the enemy! All of this Jack memory loss bull was a red herring that anyone with half a lick of sci-fi knowledge could pick out. All of the big reveals, all of the twists were predictable as anything. Yes, the alien is the enemy. Yes, Jack isn't who he thinks he is and there's a much bigger thing going down here. Yes, the Russian is his wife. I mean, he finds this random chick who's been asleep for 60 years, obviously she's important to the story I mean he was DREAMING about her. We're supposed to be surprised she's his wife? 

My other big complaint has to do with character. Granted, it's probably part of the plot and Jack's character concept that we don't relate to him or feel any connection to him at all. He's, like, a clone and stuff. (Though if you watch Moon, it doesn't HAVE to be that way. Kids, just watch Moon, it's way better). But all of the characters were wooden. They could have all been clones, it was really hard to tell the difference. I didn't feel anything for any of the characters at all. The golden opportunity for contrast and emotional involvement is wasted when we are introduced to a bunch of human survivors on Earth. I think of A.I.: Artificial Intelligence (2001) and the masterful contraposition illustrated when we go to the big bad real world. It's in those transitional moments that we feel connected to the characters and understand where the plot is headed. In Oblivion, even when they were being killed by drones, I felt nothing. I didn't connect with Morgan Freeman, I didn't even connect with the wife with Julia (Olga Kurylenko) or whatever her name is. I mean, Jack's a clone, but Julia's human! You'd think that she'd have some sort of emotional response, something to SAY at least when she finally sees her husband after 60 years in cyber sleep.

However, the visuals are absolutely breath taking. I was taken in and completely captivated by the beauty - I feel like everything was made by Apple. The camerawork, lighting, and first 12 minutes of the film were completely incredible, and those were all big pluses. Also, M83's music was pretty sweet. Claudio Miranda won the Academy Award for cinematography for Life of Pi (2012) and it's clear that he's the man who takes our breath away. I just wish there was some heart below the beautiful surface that we could connect with and wish to come back for more. But when all acting is wooden, and when there are way too many plot holes, and when it rips off some of the greatest sci-fi movies of all time, I must say my patience was tried. And for reals, the movie is too long! 4/10

Hook (1991)

BANG-A-RANG.

I am on a nostalgia run. Perks of living at home and having all-day access to DVR. Man, this movie brings me back. It's as old as I am! #birthmovies. It definitely fell into the "most-quoted" category when I was eight. And the quotes aren't even that good... "I've just had an apostrophe." "I believe in fairies!" "Lookie lookie I've got Hookie!" "You need a mother very badly!"

Let's talk about Peter Pan for a sec. Well, to put it frankly, I don't really like it. Him. The book. The play. The story. Neverland. Wendy. I don't like those things. I like the IDEA of Peter Pan. Kind of. I mean, I listen to everything Dumbledore says, and he told Harry once, "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." But I guess if everyone listened to that advice, Disneyland would go bankrupt. And I suppose the moral of the story is that Neverland can't last for never. For ever. And that we have to grow up sometime. Just Peter Pan... doesn't. And Wendy is just annoying. Seriously, she's annoying.

But what if Peter Pan did grow up? Steven Spielberg's Hook does everything I could have ever wanted with the Peter Pan story. Because in Hook, Pan's grown up. Pan is Robin Williams. And Pan has completely forgotten his adventures in Neverland and turned into Mr. Darling all-work-no-play-no-time-for-kids as an acquisitions lawyer. He's married to Wendy's granddaughter Moira (Caroline Goodall) and has two kids Jack (Charlie Korsmo), and Maggie (Amber Scott). He's not, like, father of the year or anything and his boy Jack kinda hates him. But when Pan left Neverland, he REALLY left. He left it so hard, he doesn't even know how to connect with kids least of all his own, and money has now become more important to him than adventures.

So then there's Hook. I mean Captain James Hook. The one armed-pirate person. The nefarious villain. Well, he steals Jack and Maggie right outa their bedroom and takes them straight on 'till morning. What sparks this? What bring Peter Pan's arch-enemy to go all thief-in-the-night and kidnap two innocent kids? Because he's not over this relationship, obviously. He wants the immature, won't-mature 12-year-old who tortured Hook and his goons for years to suffer, to die even. But CATCH. Hook's under the assumption that he and Pan are going to go at it for old times sake, laugh over hand-eating crocodiles while drinking margaritas (Petey's of age now) and put on a sword-show for his drunk pirate-band. Yeah, Peter can't remember anything. He can't fight. He can't fly. And he can't crow. Hook won't fight Peter like this. But he also won't abandon his plans to send him to his doom. So he gives Peter 3 days to get himself ready and rekindle some of the old green-tights pizazz.

Everything that I don't like about Peter Pan is brought full circle in Hook. My favorite scene is the brief re-cap of Peter's transformation from the boy who never grew up to the boy who did. We watch him deal with his fear of death by postponing it in Neverland. We see the sadness that came over young Pan when he realizes his mother forgot about him. We see him get sad again as he watches Wendy get older and turned from Gwenyth Paltrow into Maggie Smith. We see him give a real kiss to Wendy's granddaughter, and ultimately abandon his life in Neverland for the opportunity to be a father.

COME ON, IT KIND OF GIVES ME THE FEELS.

Everything that Peter learned in Neverland about adventure and love was forgotten in his corporate life. His return to Neverland reminded him why he left in the first place and why that was more important than anything else in the whole world. Hook is a charming fantasy that focuses on the important things.

All of these feel-good things would be nothing without the star-power performances of Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell, Maggie Smith (classy with a side of phenomenal) Robin Williams, Charlie Korsmo (Minnesota REPRESENT), Bob Hoskins as Smee and especially Dustin Hoffman as the Hook himself. Seriously, this movie deserves a watch if only for the Hoff Man. Animated Hook is a coward. Hoff Man Hook is a BAMF. He's a conniving, twisted, manipulative, clever, EVIL villain and that dufus smile of his just doesn't leave. Also, Robin Williams is pretty cool.

Perhaps this isn't Spielberg's greatest blockbuster - but I don't think it was meant to be. It's a hook. We all want to know what would happen if Peter Pan grew up. Perhaps some of the fairy tale's original magic is lost, but we're checking out Never Never Land through the eyes of a blinded adult. Only when Peter starts to figure things out do the colors and magic come out. (That being said, what IS that food they eat supposed to be ANYWAY?) I saw this movie as a child. And nothing trumps nostalgia. PAN IS BACK. 8/10

The Princess Diaries (2001)

Does anyone else remember how awesome this movie is? I definitely forgot. I'm sure I haven't seen it for at least ten years. However, while I was serving my eighteen month mission for the LDS church, I swear I thought of this movie once a week.

1. I saw a lot of miracles while I was in Japan. Cue Myra's "Miracles Happen." We'd be riding on our bikes and suddenly I'm jammin'. And foot popping.

2. I had a lot of Canadian friends on the mish. The whole secret to The Princess Diaries is that it's actually about Canada. Don't try and tell me that "Genovia" and "O Canada" don't sound EXACTLY THE SAME. We all know what "between France and Spain" means...

Anyway.

The Princess Diaries, based off Meg Cabot's novel of the same title, is about 15-year-old Mia Thermopolis (Anne Hathaway) who is just trying her best to stay invisible and pass the tenth grade. It's clear after five minutes that Mia is the ugly duckling, the awkward nobody, the gawky unpopular girl who throws up public speaking. She lives with her mom, Helen (Caroline Goodall) and Fat Louie the cat, and hangs out with slightly less unpopular and a little less ugly eccentric Lilly Moscovitz (Heather Matarazzo). Mia's got the hots for the jock, Josh Bryant (Erik von Detten), and he's all sharing saliva with cheerleader Lana Thomas (Mandy Moore) and then Lilly's brother Michael (Robert Schwartzman) has got the hots for Mia. This is high school, guys. Nevermind the fact that Anne Hathaway is 21-years-old when this was filmed. This drama shiz is still totally real. Fantasy macking it with your crush and all.

Anyway, Mia the invisible nobody gets thrown a fast one when her never-before-met perfect poise & posture grandma Clarisse Renaldi (Julie Andrews) shows up and drops the "you're-actually-a-princess" card of this made-up country called Genovia. At first Mia's like, "what??" then she's like, "shut up!" and then Queen Grandma's like, "I beg your pardon?" and the butler's like, "chill out majesty, in America it doesn't always mean be quiet it could be wow, gee whiz, or golly wolly!" and then there's panic and then we found out that the future of Canada lies in Mia's hands. I mean Genovia. (A little extreme plot device, but we'll roll with it).

However, if Ugly Betty's gonna be a princess, then something has got to be done with that beast she's got growing on her head. Not to mention... every other thing about her body. It's like Mia doesn't even know what a hair brush is. Or tweezers. Novel invention that's been around for centuries, it's cool. "I love your eyebrows! We'll call them Frida and Kahlo. If Brooke Shields married Groucho Marx, their child would have your eyebrows!" They bring in the big guns and it's no wonder that the famed hair dresser Paolo's (Larry Miller) hair brush broke on her head... But after her shot on Extreme Makeover, Mia has transformed into super hot Anne Hathaway! PRINCESSED. We all knew this was coming.

Garry Marshall was also the director of Pretty Woman, Runaway Bride, and those weird Valentines Day/New Years Day whatever they're called movies. Anyway, this is Pretty Woman G-rated. But what could be just another lame movie to sit through with your 7-year-old, instead Princess Diaries is a delight. It's a clean and witty comedy - not only can your kid AND you enjoy this Disney flick, but you can enjoy it for the same reasons. Marshall doesn't try to make it something it's not with unnecessary innuendos that fly over kids' heads. It's a straight up fairy tale with straight up morals and straight up charm. It's a great movie for our daughters! Two great take home messages:

-There is responsibility in princess-dom! You little girls may dream big, but let's knock some sense into you - no one wants that kind of work and pressure! No one wants a media posse 24/7! Okay, maybe that's just the message that I took out of it. Food for thought, little girl. Grow up and be a lawyer.

-For reals, though. No matter what you look like, it's just important who you are and living that way with integrity. Be yo'self. Maturity comes when you stop thinking about "I" and "me" and what others think. You need to look outside of yourself and use your talents to help other people. Pretty good take home message, eh Canada? Genovia?

A terribly predictable and unoriginal story is brought to life by these skilled actors particularly newcomer (now Academy Award winner) little Anne Hathaway, the ever lovely Julie Andrews, and Hector Elizondo - the butler "you-can-call-me-Joe." (Let's talk about the alluded romance there, huh?) What the plot lacks in originality it makes up for in good acting, a clever script, and character chemistry. Throughout the film, Mia & her Queen-bee grandmother's relationship strengthens and they both learn lessons about family and responsibility. They take a day out on the town where Mia shows her the ropes and the rush that comes from arm wrestling arcade. Just a suggestion, Queen Elizabeth, if you're looking to get out...

Princess Diaries is pure early 2000s gold. Doc Martins, Mandy Moore and her backup singers, balloon art gold. Though without the nostalgia, I can't speak for you. 8/10