Moonlight (2016)

In this intense coming of age story, "Moonlight" takes the story of Chiron in three stages. We watch him grow from "Little," a shy child neglected by his crack-addict mother, to a teenager struggling to find his sexual identity who is picked on and bullied, to a post-juvie drug dealer called "Black." Living on the streets of Miami can be hard and unforgiving. He is influenced throughout it his life by his mom Paula (Naomie Harris), a neighbor drug dealer named Juan (Mahershala Ali) and Kevin - with whom he shares his first kiss.

This is a small film. It's not very long. It's got a very simple plot. It's low-budget. There aren't any top-billed stars to rack in the attention. It's impossible to depict in just one film what it's like to be black (or gay, or black and gay) in America today but this attempts to provide a window on one particular experience in this character study. It's a movie that functions on observations, not words or action. 

To be honest, it's just kind of okay. I know it's been critically acclaimed but I feel like it's an emperor's new clothes type of situation. I didn't really enjoy watching it, and this isn't an uplifting story. I didn't feel moved or emotionally spent, just tired and a little bored.

Now, there were some good things.

The supporting characters leave lasting impressions despite their short screen-time. This is particularly true of Mahershala Ali. I was a big fan of his character on "House of Cards" and he stands out as the drug-dealer-with-a-heart-of-gold role. We've seen this kind of character before, but there was something striking about his eyes and expression when Chiron confronts him about dealing drugs to his mom - you could sense his hurt and disappointment and shame in himself.

At first it bothered me that I couldn't relate to this at all but I guess that gives "Moonlight" its own unique, gritty edge. "Boyhood" similarly told a coming of age story with different splices of a boy's life displayed in sequences and while I enjoyed that more (and find it a superior movie), this film still has something honest, and raw to offer.

I'm not sure how they managed to find three actors to play Chiron with consistency but color me impressed. Unlike "Boyhood" where the same kid literally grew up on the screen, "Moonlight" features three separate actors: Alex Hibbert, Ashton Sanders, and Trevante Rhodes. All three have the same level of shyness, wonder, and also hardness. 

However, though the three actors were consistent, the character itself just isn't anything very memorable. My qualm with his arc is that I feel like there's nothing more to his story than the summation of his interactions with others. There was hardly anything to suggest what he really thought of himself, what he thought of his life, what he loved or hated or what his hobbies were or who he really was on the inside. He's gay, he's black, he's got it rough, but who really is he?

The third act takes on a two-person narrative that, though emotional in part is weak and concludes abruptly. It feels a little unfinished, and sad with no catharsis. Chapter One's abrupt conclusion to Juan's story also feels incomplete and want of questions. 

Director Barry Jenkins' sophomore film seems like it wants to be more than it is: a simple story without a compelling hook. It's nothing to write home about.  5/10

The Spectacular Now (2013)

High school comedies filled with irony and overstated humor are enjoyable. It is much more rare, however, to have an American teen movie grounded in reality. "The Spectacular Now" offers an unadulterated window into the fear and vulnerability behind adolescents.

Sutter Keely (Miles Teller) is a suave, self-assured, John Cusack-esque high school senior. He's one of those guys that's charming and popular: quick with the quip, and smooth with the ladies. But he's nice enough to be friendly to those outside his circle. His budding alcoholism and devil-may-care attitude towards his future causes his girlfriend Cassidy (Brie Larson) to break up with him. There isn't any melodrama to accompany the breakup - Cassidy merely honestly understands that she wants a future and Sutter can't even imagine one; he's too busy hiding behind his flask and living in the "now."

Sutter wakes up one morning on a stranger's lawn hung over and meets Aimee (Shailene Woodley). Aimee is a shy, bookish girl who - she claims - Sutter wouldn't notice normally. She isn't socially awkward; she is an intelligent, ambitious girl who stays out of the spotlight. Unless you actually were dictionary-definiton popular in high school (you know who you are) this was probably you. Sutter helps her with her paper route and she helps him with geometry. An invitation to a party, an invitation to prom, and the two become friends. Their relationship may be mismatched and the two of them may have different expectations, but it's still a beautiful shot for them to learn from each other. Sutter doesn't prey on Aimee, though we still wonder if she hasn't gotten mixed up in something complicated and inevitably unhealthy. Sutter's fleeting intentions aren't enough to warrant dislike from the audience, however; we just see him in all of his imperfections. It's like watching a dear friend go through a rough patch. Teller is gifted at bringing this kind of depth to a character.

Daddy-issues play no small role in Sutter's inner complexity. It's apparent that there is no dad in the picture, but Sutter seeks to find him at a kind of climax. The scene is less culminating than it is revealing. So much can be understood behind Sutter's alcoholism and outlook on life by this short scene with his father (sensitively played by Kyle Chandler - a much different father figure than Coach Taylor in "Friday Night Lights"). In one poignant moment, Aimee and Sutter fumble for change to pay for their drinks that the father neglects to have enough for.

Woodley, too, is a thoughtful actress. She was impressive in "The Descendants" and she doesn't disappoint in this more sensitive role. She's driven and dreamy, but still naïve. You can't blame her for being infatuated with Sutter and her flippant use of "I love you." Who hasn't been swept off their feet in a romance not meant to last? Her guileless performance, though, doesn't succumb to pity-prompting. It may seem she gives more weight to the relationship than he does, but she is still strong and capable.

It's deeply affecting. James Ponsoldt terrifically directs without settling for stereotypes. The script is much more concerned for how teens really think and feel rather than outlandish, raunchy outside behavior. Sutter and Aimee's intimate scene is emotional and unpatronizing; Ponsoldt handles the scene with sensitivity and care. Teller and Woodley have believable, understated chemistry and it feels true to life: real and vulnerable.

The film is left somewhat open-ended, and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Life is open-ended. You know that Sutter has been given ample opportunity now to grow and change, but whether or not he actually will is up to him. "The real hardship is me. It's always been me." Living in the moment isn't all that it's cracked up to be sometimes and perhaps it's not worth it to stay in that moment, no matter how spectacular it may be. To live in the now is less important than to see a future.

These coming of age stories can sometimes feel old, but this soulful and sincere portrait of youth takes the genre on a new, more realistic turn. And it's spectacular. 9/10

Stand By Me (1986)

"Do you guys want to go see a dead body?" Everyone stopped. It's the summer of 1959 in Castlerock, Oregon and a local boy has gone missing. 12-year-old Vern (Jerry O'Donnell), overweight, timid and bullied, approaches his three friends Gordie, Chris, and Teddy with the proposal for the ultimate summer adventure to find the body and collect the reward. Rob Reiner's adaptation of Stephen King's novella "The Body" exquisitely captures the vulnerability of youth and the heart of true friendship in this simple yet sweeping story.

This troubled but carefree band of brothers rely on each other through summer days with contraband cigarettes in their treehouse for a home. Our narrator Gordie (Wil Wheaton) is coping after the recent death of his older brother and subsequent neglect at home. Teddy (Corey Feldman) nearly had his ear burned off by his father who is now confined to a mental institution. Chris (River Phoenix) is beaten by his alcoholic dad and regularly stereotyped as a criminal. These boys are there for each other through the deep stuff that troubles youth but doesn't screw them up enough to ruin summer fun just yet. They set off with backpacks, Cokes, and Converse shoes and through episodes with leeches in the river, close calls with trains, and quintessential stories by the campfire, these boys are brought closer together like nothing but shared experience of searching for a dead body can. This is more than band camp.

Everything is just so incredibly real. These kids are at the bridge between boyhood and maturation. They talk about the greater issues of life, "Hey guys! What animal IS Goofy anyway?""You think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman?" in the poignant campfire scene. But though they laugh at the hysterical tale of "Lardass" anyone can see that the true issues of family instability and uncertain futures plague over them. I've never been a 12-year-old boy, but I can still relate to many of their pre-teen ideals. I remember what it was like to bury real pain and shake off real issues with fantasy games with my friends. (On that note - why is that that there are no stories about groups of girls? Just a thought).

River Phoenix has never acted this great, and the scene between Chris and Gordie stands as a defining moment not just for the climax of the movie, but for all of childhood. Maybe you didn't have a friend like that, but you certainly wanted one. He is the rock of the group and knows how to calm fears and invoke courage in one conversation. The heart of this movie are the characters and Reiner nailed it with his acting picks. These kids can handle heavy scenes like pros. Will Wheaton's delivery is neither forced nor contrived but is still deliberate and emotional. His excellent acting is coupled with one of Kiefer Sutherland's better performances as the local bully, Ace. 

Ace: "What are you gonna do? Shoot us all?"

Gordie: "No, Ace. Just you."

With characters we can fall in love with, a script that is sharp, raw, & realistic, and cameos from Richard Dreyfuss and John Cusack you have yourself a movie that will stay with you. Honestly, I don't know what it is about it that gets me every time. It's been nearly six years since I saw it for the first time and there is something timeless about it that touches me and has resonated with me. Maybe it's the nostalgic music. Maybe it's because it reminds me of summer. Stand By Me can rest with the likes of To Kill a Mockingbird and The Man in the Moon as one of the greatest and most timeless coming of age stories around. I am a sucker for these poignant stories bc THE FEELS. And every time I watch it, I am reminded of the friends with whom I've shared something. 9/10

"I never had any friends later on like the ones when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?" 

Twilight (2008)

This is totally a bandwagon endeavor.  But with all of the Breaking Dawn hype, I’ve decided that I need to get a move on the Twilight series.  Yeah, I read all of the books, I thought Twilight was super gripping and stuff until it blew up America.  And by America I mean the world.  Man, Stephanie Meyer is the worst best thing to have come out of my hood.

With that, I’m only just getting to watching the movies.  Word on the street is they still suck, but I don’t want to be that girl that never watches something only because it’s popular.  Even though I actually abhor everything to do with the Vampire/Werewolf/Human love triangle.  But hey, I’m a cinephile so I gots to watch ‘em all.

Catherine Hardwicke’s Twilight takes place in the dark, dreary town of Forks, Washington.  Our leading lady is the clumsy, supposed-to-be-not-that-pretty-but-is-actually-pretty-hot Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart).  Well, she would be hot if her face did something other than grimace or pout.  She’s the new girl in town straight out of Phoenix, Arizona (sans tan) here to live with her pops Charlie Swan, the local sheriff (Billy Burke).  Charlie is the only solid character of the bunch, he’s got a sound mind and is trying his hardest to be a good dad to his estranged daughter.

Bella starts at her new school mid-year.  What would predictably be a rocky beginning as the typical “new girl in town outcast” turns out to be a refreshingly smooth transition.  Bella eases her way into a group of nice (and normal) kids who gossip and joke and accept her as their friend.  Her long face is inexplicable, but apparently something isn’t right.  She eyes the strange and beautiful Cullen family with piqued interest as her friend Jessica (Anna Kendrick) gawks over Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), but encourages Bella to steer clear.  No one really talks to the Cullens.  They keep to themselves.

But apparently Bella can’t be content with a normal life.  She is mesmerized with the not so beautiful Edward Cullen.  She has never met anyone like him before.  The way he stares at her is so penetrating, as though he sees directly into her soul.  Lucky for both of them, she finds this more attractive than creepy.  Her fight to be different is grossly rewarded when her person of interest turns out to be a vampire, and she’s totally into it.

As I was watching this, I couldn’t help but think to myself, “Did I really like this book?”  Because I did.  It’s like literary cocaine, I read ’till all hours of the night and couldn’t curb my addiction.  But seriously, there was actually something appealing to this ridiculous vampire stuff?  Because sorry twi-hards, I am not digging it.

First of all, if you take out all the vampire/mystical stuff, it is nothing more than a formulaic teenage 
lust love story and a guy who has abstinence issues.  And WHAT is up with Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson?  They seem to have a really good time staring at each other, though Stewart always looks like she’s suffering from manic depression and Pattinson that he’s going to throw up.  Neither can act.  And Pattinson seemed to lose every feature that I found attractive when he played Cedric Diggory in the fourth Harry Potter film.

The dialogue is atrocious.  “You better hold on tight, spider monkey.”  A fourth grader could write a better screenplay.  The special effects are mediocre at best, though the film was produced on a very low budget.  And these vampires are nothing like the vampires of yesteryear.  Contrary to popular belief, daylight does not disintegrate our fanged friends, it only causes them to SPARKLE (another testament of high-school effects).

The relationship between Edward & Bella is, well, crazy.  Their romance blooms because Edward WANTS TO DRINK HER BLOOD.  He thinks she SMELLS good, much like my Subway sandwich smells good.  Who dates (and by date, I mean stare at) a guy that is attracted to her based on how good he thinks she would taste if he were to kill her?  But she’s cool with it, because he’s one of the good guys, a vampire vegetarian if you will.

I think what is really missing from the book is the depth to Bella’s character.  Kristen Stewart does not portray the complexities nor the inner turmoil that Bella suffers with in the book.  Though my opinion quickly changes in the Twilight sequels, Bella was a pretty good character in the first book.  She wasn’t perfect, and the average girl could relate to her and dream about having a similar fantastic romance.

Twilight will no doubt satisfy its rabid fans, and teenage girls across the world will always drool over Edward.  And if you’re one of those peeps, go knock yourself out.  But, if you appreciate something deeper, Twilight is missable.  3/10

The Perfect Score (2004)

A bad knock-off of The Breakfast Club?  I think so.

The Perfect Score is about a mismatched group of stereotypes: the brain, the rebel, the stoner, the loser, the jock, and the “good guy” who all decide that the SAT is the only thing standing in their way of achieving their dreams.  So they decide to go for the ultimate teen-heist and steal the answers.

The cover says it’s The Breakfast Club meets Ocean’s Eleven. Yeah, maybe the worst possible version of John Hughes’ classic and all of the corny elements of Ocean’s.  The Breakfast Club is one of my all-time favorite movies.  It defines high school, it’s far more than stereotypes.  The Breakfast Club could have EASILY failed.  It could have been awful, cheesy, and cliché because, let’s face it, the plot is very basic and it IS full of stereotypes.  But those characters are real, the dialogue is witty, and it has heart.

The Perfect Score is like someone placed Breakfast Club on a platter, stabbed it forty times, threw in some new amateur actors, and tore out the heart that everyone connected with.  This movie is dead.  It has no heart, nor soul.  It’s a two-hour detention, not two hours playing hooky.

The only reason I watched the entire thing was because I had just finished with my last final exam for the semester.  I definitely agreed with the injustice that standardized testing is to humankind or whatever, so I fell for the premise.  And, I’ll admit, it did start off well.  Stylized introductions to the characters, planning sessions, etc.  But then one too many characters got involved.  I mean, all that Kyle (Chris Evans) and Matty (Bryan Greenberg) really needed was Francesca (Scarlett Johansson) since she’s the one with access to the building.  I guess Roy (Leonardo Nam) can get into the computer, and that’s cool.  But even if you did have a crush on her, would you really tell the smartest girl in school that you were planning on doing ANYTHING unethical?  That’s how Anna (Erika Christensen) got involved.. and then she just decided out of the goodness of her heart to tell “deprived” BASKETBALL STAR Desmond (Darius Miles) about it.

Here’s the thing though.  Even if Brian Robbins was going for a heist movie – it’s far from satisfying.  I guess their sense of right and wrong got the better of them, or whatever, but they don’t use the answers.  Sure it makes me feel good inside that teenagers can have some ounce of integrity, but that wasn’t what I watched this movie for.  All I saw, was an intelligent and strong girl turn into a slut, an insecure rebel go for a fat-boy loser with no backbone, and an Asian druggie being controlled by a domineering black woman.  I don’t know, everything just goes too far to try and teach a lesson. “A lot of people would think these questions are difficult… not me.”  “No?”  “No. Because these questions have answers.”  Touching.

It has further lame attempts to be Breakfast-club-esque:  “What would you do if you had all the money in the world” kind of questions.  “There’s this one video game, blah blah blah.. it was so cool, this one character was cool…” “Oh, so you want to design video games?” “No, I want to be that one character!”  It goes for laughs, but all I could muster was half an eye roll.

The acting was amateur at best.  Some say that Johansson isn’t half bad – and she isn’t – but I don’t really like her that much anyway.  Everyone’s lines are forced, their interactions with each other are fake.  As improbable as Claire and John’s relationship is in Breakfast Club, they at least had some ounce of chemistry – and they interacted well together.  Nothing in this is real.

Stereotypes at its worst, The Perfect Score is as far from perfect as I am from being a millionaire.  Please watch bThe Breakfast Club instead. 1/10

Romeo + Juliet (1996)

Next time someone hates on gangs dancing in West Side Story, I’ll be asking whether they’ve seen gangs fighting while speaking in Shakespearean dialect…

Yep.  I’m a hater.  But big disclaimer: I’ve always detested those idiot star cross’d lovers.  I’ve read the play, seen it three times, only once have I even remotely enjoyed it – and that was because they were kind of making fun of all those things I hate.  We’ll disregard for the moment that my ninth grade boyfriend played Romeo so it drove me nuts that he was kissing another girl and that every other girl in the junior high was head over heels for him…. totally unrelated.

Needless to say, I didn’t start off on good footing with this.  And I must admit that I have never detested this more.  It isn’t that I’m not used to the extravagant style of Baz Luhrmann – I’m a Moulin Rouge! fan.  It’s… that it doesn’t WORK the same way that it does in Moulin Rouge! In fact, it fails.  It’s a disastrous combination of Hollywood action and Shakespearean themes and dialect.  “Swords” are guns manufactured by ‘Sword?’  Funny.  But dumb more than clever.

It’s set in Verona Beach – but what they mean is stereotypical surfer California.  Pretty sure everyone knows what’s up with this story, but here’s a brief rundown of the mess.  The Montagues and the Capulets are in a turf-battle/family feud dating back to who knows when.  Romeo (Leonardo DiCaprio), a Montague, is depressed and in love with Rosaline.  Then he lays eyes on Juliet (Claire Danes), a Capulet and falls in {deeper?} love.  Ah, the beauty of the forbidden.  Then they frolic in a swimming pool, declare their undying love, Romeo’s good buddy Mercutio (Harold Perrineau – LOST!) gets murdered, Romeo kills the dude responsible, Juliet fakes her death to try and still rock it with Romeo in the end, Romeo believes she’s dead and kills himself, so then she kills herself too and they live happily ever after…. while dead?

On the subject of the plot – what was with that swimming pool crap anyway?  Dra-freaking-matic (don’t judge on the word).

It’s SO overly-colorful, it’s obnoxious.  I again compare to Moulin Rouge. It isn’t artistic and beautiful. It’s distracting and insulting – like a crappy Tim Burton ripoff.  They’re wearing Hawaiian shirts for heaven’s sake – it’s a punk version of a SHAKESPEARE PLAY.  Seriously?  Luhrmann even has the nerve to show Mercutio as a drag queen at one point.  WTF.  The overtly provocative and modern-day clothing displayed at the masquerade is terribly out of place and, again, obnoxious.  The music is also unrelated and inconsistent.

I’m not against modern-day adaptations of Shakespeare plays.  I think that 10 Things I Hate About You is very clever and entertaining.  Even She’s the Man is kind of funny.  West Side Story is my personal favorite, and that’s dealing with this very story.  I think the main thing that fails here is the awful mismatch of sounding like Shakespeare and looking like The Beach Boys.  Had there been modern-day dialogue to match 20th century feel, it wouldn’t have sucked half as much.  FIrst of all, Leo and C-Danes have no idea how to speak Shakespeare effectively, they’re in way over their heads.  Pete Postlethwaite (the priest) and Miriam Margolyes (the nurse) seemed to be the only two who were even half-realistic.  But really, “art thou mad,” doesn’t work in Cali last time I checked.

The acting actually isn’t that bad, with the exception of Claire Danes.  I’m a huge Little Women fan, and I love her as the meek and quiet Beth March.  Not as the fiery Juliet.  I felt no connection to her, nor in their relationship really.  Leo’s my man, but even he isn’t at his top game – though he’s still probably my favorite part.  Pete Postlethwaite and Miriam Margolyes are definitely the most capable of the bunch, and quite enjoyable to watch.  [Side note, I saw Miriam Margolyes on stage in 2006 as Madam Morrible in Wicked. Cool.]  Everyone else is just background noise.  Paul Rudd (whom I love in Friends and Clueless) doesn’t add much, neither does John Leguizamo, Paul Sorvino, nor Harold Perrineau (I actually didn’t like him much at all).

Overall, Romeo + Juliet is a dreadful adaptation to a Shakespearean classic.  I may not even like the original material, but Shakespeare at least knew what he was doing and I respect the man for everything he was capable of.  This is where crap like Twilight comes from… 2/10