On heroes and villains

It all started with a certain prequel trilogy for everyone’s beloved Star Wars. I was young, I was 9 when Phantom Menace was released. My opinion of the prequel trilogy wasn’t solidified until Attack of the Clones because even an 11-year-old could see right through that romance. It’s one thing to make some bad movies - we’ve all seen Transformers or Pirates of the Caribbean 3. But this was a much more grievous (haha) sin. Because George Lucas - someone who gave us STAR WARS, one of the greatest works of fiction to grace this good earth - was the one ruining it all. That’s why it was hurtful: it was a betrayal.

(I’m not even going to mention the new Star Wars movies, I don’t feel like crying right now and that’s a different story entirely).

Then followed Peter Jackson. He adapted a universally beloved book series and (arguably) even improved upon it. The Lord of the Rings trilogy is so close to perfect. I don’t care how many endings Return of the King has, I still sob through that whole movie. You can fight me on this: LOTR is LYFE. But Peter Jackson didn't stop there. Then came The Hobbit movies. And for some reason, Jackson had the brilliant idea to adapt another universally loved book into not one, not two, but THREE MOVIES? Tell me how this makes sense.

Both of these fine gentlemen perhaps should have heeded Uncle Ben's cheesy saying "with great power comes great responsibility." Because when you create something like Star Wars or bring the world of Middle Earth to the big screen it becomes something much bigger than you. You are then tied to an important responsibility to your fans.

Throughout all of this, I always thought I would be safe with my other love: Harry Potter. I truly, truly thought that JK Rowling was going to be better.

I recently saw the new "Wizarding World" film Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald. I did not hate it. But I definitely didn't love it, either. Mostly because it got me feeling sad. Sad at what is becoming of my beloved Harry Potter series.

Harry Potter is a brilliant, masterfully crafted, meticulously thought out book series. Part of its universal appeal is how deep you have to look for plot holes and inconsistencies. It is clear that this was JK Rowling’s baby and she raised it with care. And we loved her for it.

I have not been impressed with these Fantastic Beasts movies so far. Here are the reasons why, and obviously spoilers lie ahead.

From the woman who brought us the perfect book series, I sincerely thought sloppiness was never going to be an adjective I’d use to describe a work of hers. But these movies - particularly the latest installment, feel half-assed. They feel like a last-ditch effort to make more money with superfluous click-baity plot twists and name-drops.

Sadly, this day has been building over the period of a few years. A Pottermore post here, a tweet there and JK Rowling is slowly piecing her doom together one mistake at a time. I first started feeling apprehensive about her mental clarity when she announced that she thought Hermione should have ended up with Harry. I will not fight this take right now (it is wrong) but I then based my Advanced English class research paper on the very topic of an author’s responsibility to stick to canon and not contradict rules that were previously established. Yes, I was that student. Sure, she may have announced Dumbledore’s homosexuality in a lame attempt to prove she was woke for the LGBTQ+ community, but at the very least it did not contradict anything previously established about Dumbledore’s character. She spent 7 books building up sexual tension for Hermione and Ron, she can’t go back and say that it was wrong.

So far, the Fantastic Beasts movies have not gone so far as to give Princess Leia magical fly-through-space force powers, but dammit she is getting dangerously close. Did she really think her fans wouldn’t be acutely aware of the established birthdate for Professor McGonagall? She is very clearly not a contemporary of Dumbledore’s young dashing Jude Law days. Like? Is she trying to pull a fast one on us? I heard that and half-choked on my Dr. Pepper in the theater it perplexed me so. The Crimes of Grindelwald are full of small things like this that forcibly remove me from the world I want to be immersed in and question everything I ever learned about the Wizarding World.

Special effects matter more than established magical rules? It’s a small thing, but it still seems like a sacrifice to make and break magical rules of magic by not using wands or creating magic without incantations, or needing every magical encounter to be bigger and better than the previous instance. Newt’s detective charm - while a very cool concept - seems like something a little beyond him. Almost 100% of the mysteries introduced in the Harry Potter series could have been solved with such a charm.

Newt Scamander is actually more than just a zoologist? He’s involved in a big magical war? Something tells me that when JK Rowling came up with the book title for Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them back in Sorcerer’s Stone she didn’t also think that Oh! This author is also a key player in the war against Grindelwald! Someday I will make a five-movie series about Newt Scamander and how he was much more than a zoologist! 9/10 fans would have preferred a movie that was actually about Newt Scamander and his magical adventures with magical creatures. Is that not enough of a plot for you?

Nagini is actually a Korean performer with a blood curse? Interesting, I don’t hate it, but don’t you pretend that you had this planned all along and not that you’re just throwing in some diversity to appease your world-wide audience. We all know how desperate to prove how liberal you are. But I’d bet money that this was not a “secret you’ve been hiding for 20 years.”

Dumbledore is a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher now? What ever happened to Transfiguration? Sure, maybe there’s a reason for the transition, but it seems like such a small thing that would have been easy to stick to?

We can apparate to Hogwarts school grounds now?

Last but not least Dumbledore has a brother?
Literally of all the characters to choose to throw in a lineage surprise, why tf would you choose Albus Dumbledore. His family history was written out pretty clearly in Deathly Hallows. There’s no wiggle room, here. Dumbledore’s father died in Azkaban, and his mom died when he was 17 or so. Credence is about 20 years younger so something doesn’t add up.

You can go onto any other article about this to see the various fan theories. The three that make the most sense are 1) Credence is, in fact, not a Dumbledore, but the “brother” is Ariana’s obscurius who has found a new host in Credence. This doesn’t explain the name Grindelwald bestowed of Aurelius Dumbledore, but it’s a theory. 2) Aurelius is a half brother of Albus’s and Percival Dumbledore did not, in fact, die in Azkaban but escaped unbeknownst to Albus. Also unlikely and doesn’t explain why this fact would not be mentioned in the obituary. 3) Grindelwald is lying to get Credence to go against Dumbledore since Grindelwald cannot himself. I tend to lean more to this theory (I also am banking on Kylo Ren lying to Rey about her heritage) but this theory does not explain why the Phoenix would come to Credence if he were not a true Dumbledore.

Either way this bombshell just made me feel extremely frustrated. Yes, maybe Rowling has it all figured out and it will be explained adequately in a subsequent movie. But because this idea currently makes no sense to the established canon, we literally have nothing to do but wait. And that’s where I felt frustrated. It’s just clickbait. And Harry Potter was never clickbait.

There were some parts of the movie that I truly loved. Leta Lestrange’s story was well done yet it felt rushed and that was disappointing. That 15-minute segment at Hogwarts was brilliant and I loved feeling like I was going home. Jude Law was a good choice for Dumbledore and Johnny Depp, however much I may hate him, did fine. Perhaps Rowling just isn’t cut out to be a screenwriter: many of these ideas would have benefited from a novel format.

Nevertheless, I feel sad. It is very difficult to interpret making a five-movie franchise from 1 “textbook” and 1 famous battle against an evil wizard as anything more than a money grab. Especially when the first Fantastic Beasts movie felt so much more contained. These additional 4 movies seem to be nothing more than milking its fans for all they’re worth.

"You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become a villain." - Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight