Toy Story (1995)

From the get-go Pixar was something special.  They needed no practice runs.  Toy Story raised the bar to infinity and beyond for animated pictures featuring both a quality story for all ages and top notch animation.  Although Pixar does nothing but improve in the effects department from here on out, the detail here is still incredible and better than any other animated predecessor.

So Andy (voiced by John Morris) is a kid just like any other who enjoys playing with his favorite toys.  But - spoilers! - as soon as he leaves the room, his toys come alive. Our chief character and leader of the pack is Sheriff Woody (Tom Hanks), Andy’s favorite toy.  Other toys include Mr. Potato Head (Don Rickles), Hamm (John Ratzenberger), Rex (Wallace Shawn), and Slink (Jim Varney).  After Andy’s birthday party (a very delicate affair complete with green army dudes and Playskool walkie-talkies for a stake out) the new toy arrives. Buzz Lightyear of star command (Tim Allen) is pretty new to the toy-verse.  He still believes he’s a space ranger (“Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Zurg has been secretly building a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet.  I alone have information that reveals this weapon’s only weakness.” - Star Wars anybody?) but regardless his mental state, there’s no denying that this toy is slick.  He comes complete with a karate chop action arm, wings, glow in the dark capabilities, a laser, and his helmet does that WHOOSH thing.  Pretty soon Woody is no longer the bee’s knees amongst his peers and owner.  Laser envy!  Buzz and Woody’s rivalry takes them on adventures they never could have imagined in their toy dreams,  “one minute you’re defending the whole galaxy, and, suddenly, you find yourself sucking down darjeeling with… Marie Antoinette and her little sister.”

Obviously Toy Story broke ground being the first film to be completely created by computer. The animation is new, fresh, and entirely liberating from its 2-D predecessors. I mean, I can't even fathom the amount of work that went into this baby project of John Lasseter and his fantastic team. It's hard for us - most specifically my generation - to recognize how significant Toy Story is. I mean, we've been around for all of Pixar's greats. But when I watched this today, I thought about how Toy Story marked the beginning of a new era for animated movies. And that's pretty cool.

Several other things stand out, though. First of all, Pixar proved that an animated flick (or any flick) doesn’t have to be childish to appeal to kids. I enjoy Disney movies as much as the next person, but never before had an animated movie captured its audiences of ALL ages with a script so sophisticated and witty. “Hey look I’m Picasso!” “Gee, I don’t get it.” “You uncultured swine!” Toy Story marks the first animated movie to ever be nominated for best screenplay and the writing is, indeed, something to be remembered. Even more than the lines, though, is the story and the characters. 

It got us to understand what toys are all about. Every child has had a favorite toy at one time or another. And these toys are real. Real enough that they feel, think, and act but their intentions are pure and their loyalty is earnest. Our Sheriff Woody knows that true joy for a toy comes from bringing happiness to their boy Andy. It's almost like the relationship to these charming characters is reciprocal - you can FEEL how much these toys just want to love and be loved. It makes you feel like you're back safe in your childhood. This movie also deals with issues far deeper than your usual happily ever after tale.  No one wants to be forgotten or left behind. It steers clear of the traditional animated-musical format but gets those emotions pumping all the same with Randy Newman's perfectly timed soundtrack.

All of the characters are timeless and lovable but Buzz particularly stands out as the cocky space toy, er, ranger who falls with style better than anyone I know.  His character is so endearing to the audience because of his naiveté and the poignancy that comes when he finally realizes he is just a toy. That scene is just... THE FEELS. 

Though it only gets better with Toy Story 2, there’s no denying the original remains one of Pixar’s very best - as well as its most influential. It isn't getting old any time soon. 9/10 

Other notes:

John Lasseter won a Special Achievement Award for "For the development and inspired application of techniques that have made possible the first feature-length computer-animated film."

Toy Story was also nominated for Best Original Screenplay, Best Music Original Song ("You've Got a Friend in Me"), and for Best Music, Original Music or Comedy Score (Randy Newman).

Ranked #99 in AFI's Top 100 Years... 100 Films list in 2007.

Cars 2 (2011)

In this next installment in the world of vehicles, Mater (voiced by Larry the Cable Guy) ropes his best-buddy celebrity Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson) into racing at the Grand Prix against the open-wheeled race-car Italian stud Francesco (John Turturro).  The Grand Prix, however, is full of surprises, especially when Mater gets a little too involved behind the scenes with some spicy spy cars (Michael Caine and Emily Mortimer, guys..).

Yeah kids, I totes saw a pre-screening for Cars 2.  It’s definitely one of the coolest things I’ve ever done in my life.  Thanks to Derrick at The Pixar Podcast for the sweet hookup.  I never felt so official before… Listen to our initial responses and the discussion of the film here.

With a few clichés that bug, Pixar has still managed to keep that perfect track record through entertainment, and funny gags.  For someone who’s not a huge fan of Cars, I would definitely recommend this sequel that blows its predecessor away.  7/10

The Swan Princess (1994)

Prince Derrick and Princess Odette (arguably the best princess name EVER) of neighboring kingdoms in some whatever-land are basically hooked up from birth by their parents.  They spend several summers together as kids, fighting and hating each other and singing about it.  Then one day Odette (voiced by Michelle Nicastro) becomes an irresistible babe and Derrick (voiced by Howard McGillin) suddenly’s all, “Oh hey, she’s no ugly duckling anymore she’s actually HOTT.” and then they decide to get married but Odette’s thinkin’ “Hey, are you interested in anything but my looks?” and Derrick’s a little confused and can’t understand what other things could possibly be more important than beauty… So they, like, don’t get married right then.

But then this evil sorcerer man, Rothbart (Jack Palance), kidnaps Odette and puts her under a spell so that she turns into a swan during the day and then back to her sexy female-self with perfect hair at night.  So… that he can make her his queen and regain power or something. Derrick is convinced she’s alive but no one seems to believe him.  Odette befriends Speed the turtle, Jean Bob the french frog, and Puffin the puffin bird during her captivity.  She and Puffin come up with a plan to reunite her with Derrick (because she couldn’t care LESS now if he only loves her for her beauty…) But that Rothbart is difficult to double cross.

It ain’t Disney, but this movie spells pure nostalgia for me.  It wasn’t a favorite like Star Wars or Mulan, but I did frequently watch it as a kid and remember its awesomeness. The animation isn’t great: my friends and I kept remarking on the obvious racial identity crisis the producers were having by changing the main characters from African Americans to to fake-bakes to Snow-whites.  The lines are jagged and the colors are, as duly noted, inconsistent and faded.  But despite these flaws, The Swan Princess is far better than any other Richard Rich attempt (I could write an entire post on how much I hate The Black Cauldron and how BADLY someone needs to do a remake of that series and make it legit.  Best books ever).

The songs are nothing too memorable either, it’s funny how quickly I’m turned off by musicals without Menken or Ashman on the credits.  The side characters are as awesome as they possibly could be, Speed being my very favorite. “Do you want a kiss too?” “Aw, I’m fine being a turtle…” Though Jean Bob is also awesome… because he’s John Cleese, let’s be honest.

The oozing cheese and overwhelming cliché is more endearing than it is stupid.  You know, the sky definitely ALWAYS turns orange while fighting the great-animal version of a d-bag… and vows of everlasting love must consistently be proclaimed for the world to hear and more binding than, well, just about anything.  But the dialogue is entertaining.  The songs are entertaining.  The plot is entertaining. I dunno, I’d watch it again and laugh.

And let’s face it, folks.  Nostalgia trumps ALL. 5/10

Despicable Me (2010)

Nothing really appealed to me about this movie.  I hate to label, but honestly I’m a little bit turned off  when it’s animated and it ain’t Pixar.  Plus the trailer had a fart joke in there.  I hate fart jokes.  They are the epitome of childish.  I don’t care how many stars you’ve got piled in there.  It didn’t work for Shark Tale.

But then something happens when you go to college and you and your roommate decide to go to a dollar movie at 12:30 am and you laugh your head off in spite of yourself.  True story.  A few days after the fact, you kick back and realize that some of those jokes were actually stupid but man was it epic at 2 am.  Then you go to another buddy’s house and you watch it again… – laughing just as hard as before (okay, maybe not just as hard – that might not be possible.  I wouldn’t know though, I don’t think you’re ever fully conscious when laughing late at night.  Let’s be honest).

So anyway.  I think it’s hard to really review and critique movies like this.  Because I had a blast at the movie theater.  I laughed oh-so-hard.  But hey, it’s not that great of a movie.  It’s cute, it does what it does, it gives you a few feel-goods, and tells dumb jokes.  The end.

Gru (Steve Carell) is a villain has-been.  He’s old, but still wants to be the meanest, toughest bully out there.  Sadly, there are new hot-shot dudes who are meaner, tougher, and badder.  One such younger dude, Vector (Jason Segel) (whutt up HIMYM!), who succeeds because of all of his toys and traps in his cooler than cool super-villain lair – is Gru’s competition, and pulls off things like stealing pyramids in Egypt.  Gru is sick of people one-upping him, so he decides to pull off the biggest heist of the century and steal the moon.  Oh yeah, he also turns Daddy Warbucks and adopts three little orphans from the evil orphanage lady who looks like Dolores Umbridge (Kristen Wiig) along the way (box of shame? really?)

It’s predictable.  The story tries to be all feel-goody and get you teared up but it doesn’t have the emotional touch of Pixar.  It ends up just being cheesy.  But it is funny.  (Did anyone else laugh at the whole “Formerly Lehman Brothers” sign?)  There are a few side characters to spice it up – Will Arnett as Mr. Perkins speaking all GOB-like and Jack McBrayer as that evil carnival dude trying NOT to sound like Kenneth but still totally does being the best.  Julie Andrews also represents as Gru’s messed up mother.  The two youngest little girls were adorable, but the oldest was just annoying.  And typical.  An overdone character.

The minions were also entertaining.  I’ll be honest, I was taken with the cute lil’ midgets.  And it’s got a catchy theme song.  Always key.  Not to mention a random Wilhelm scream! K, done mentioning all the random tidbits. Think what you  may, but I for one was entertained.  6/10

Toy Story 3 (2010)

I’ll admit, when I initially heard that Pixar’s next project was going to be a third installment to the Toy Story franchise, I wasn’t sure what to think.  Pixar is the top dog for creativity and I’ve been thrilled with their not-so-recent efforts of Up and Wall-E. Soooo another Toy Story?  Haven’t we heard this story before?  Twice?  But then I thought some more, and I’m as big of a fan as any of Woody and his gang and those movies define my childhood.  And Pixar is always right.  So I trusted them.

It’s a good thing I did.

Toy Story 3 is about grown-up Andy leaving the roost to go to college.  One card that Pixar played to solidify awesomeness was to release this movie just as the first generation Toy Story watchers are heading out to college themselves.  It definitely hit me differently since I too was embarking on the same adventure.  Good move, Pixar.  You always did know how to tug at the heart strings.

Anyway, as so morbidly predicted by Stinky Pete in Toy Story 2, Andy has forgotten about his toys.  In the confusion of packing and getting everything ready to leave, his box of the beloveds (Buzz, Woody, Jessie, Bulls Eye, Slink, Rex, Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head, Hamm, 3 alien squeak toys, and even Molly’s old barbie) are accidentally taken to Sunny Side Daycare, instead of the attic where he wanted them.  (p.s. I totally listed those characters from memory btw.  Go me).  Woody tries to convince his buds that they need to go BACK to Andy’s.

Woody eventually heads off on his own.  Buzz and the rest of the crew are at first excited for their new lives – they meet a welcoming Care-Bear named Lotso (Ned Beatty) and his side-kick Big Baby, and Barbie finds true love in the apparently-straight-but-sooo-gay Ken (“That Barbie sure has nice handwriting!” “Uhh, Buzz?  I don’t think Barbie wrote this…”).  Unfortunately, our toys are assigned to the dreaded Caterpillar room, and tyrannically excluded by Lotso from the coveted Butterfly room.  What’s the difference?  Malicious torture by toddlers.  Turns out Woody was right.  They need to get out of this murderous mess.

Soo my first reaction told me that this was a little too much like Toy Story 2. The plot didn’t sweep me off my feet.  The sequence of things felt all-too familiar, and I was slightly disappointed.  On a side note, I honestly think one of the reasons I had these few drawbacks was due to Roger Ebert’s review, which gave it a positive rating but not a home-run score.  I’m torn between reading critic reviews for movies or not, but that’s a post for another time.  Anyway, the emotion behind it all outweighs this drawback.  I was freaking crying like a little baby by the end.  Seriously.  Tears were a-flowin’.  It’s a good thing it was 2 am and everyone else had fallen asleep so I didn’t even need to pretend that I got something in my eye.  I mean, these were practically MY toys!  Their camaraderie and care for each other is powerful, and in the end this is simply a beautiful story about friendship and looking out for one another.  But really though, let’s not forget the classic humor and wit that always accompanies a Pixar flick.

Barbie: “I”
Ken: “Love”
Barbie: “You!
Ken: “See, that time I said Love!  See what I mean, it changes every time!”

Ken’s fashion shows, Spanish mode Buzz (heck, Spanish-DANCING Buzz), and Pickle-Potato-Heads.  It’s hard not to giggle like a maniac at some parts.  Technically speaking, everything’s essentially flawless.  Perfect animation.  Excellent voice acting (Tom Hanks and Tim Allen of course, but also Michael Keaton, Ned Beatty and Bonnie Hunt in her small role).  Classic music.  Everything.

Pixar, you do whatever you want.  You have now successfully created a trilogy for the ages that is satisfying and complete.  I will forever treasure the Toy Story movies and the characters in them.  ”So long… partner.”  8/10

Toy Story 2 (1999)

Just when we thought Toy Story was the best thing there was – Toy Story 2 comes out.  Pixar’s third effort is out to prove that these flicks are way more than just kids’ movies because seriously this movie has got more emotional baggage than Terms of Endearment. Okay, not really, but you get the picture.  Toy Story 2 opens with awesome exchange between Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen) and his nemesis Emperor Zurg (Andrew Stanton) complete with Star Wars references.  After Buzz gets his top blown off, we’re initially scared out of our pants.  Luckily, he’s actually in his very own video game – and other than Rex’s (Wallace Shawn) short arms things are well in the world of Andy’s bedroom.  Our favorite Woody (Tom Hanks) is off to Cowboy Camp, Mr. Potato Head (Don Rickles) is lovin’ married life, and Buzz is still Mr. Popular.  That is, until Woody gets his arm torn and then he gets sold in a yard sale to a crazy chicken man only to find out he’s worth bank and then be sold to a museum in Tokyo… Okay I just got way ahead of myself on that one.

Anyway.  Throughout this whole climax, we find out that Woody isn’t just Andy’s favorite toy.  He’s a rare Sheriff Woody doll, with a round-up gang and his face on a yo-yo to boot.  Woody doesn’t know what to think of his gang at first, but soon bonds with Jessie the cowgirl (Joan Cusack), The Prospector aka Stinky Pete (Kelsey Grammer) and Bulls Eye (a real, live horse I’m sure).  Meanwhile, his friends from Andy’s room (Buzz, Rex, Slink, Tater head, and Hamm) are doing everything in their power to rescue him – even crossing the street without adult supervision.  In the end, it’ll come down to whatever Woody decides is more important, being loved by a child or being preserved in top-notch condition forever and ever while being pampered with cocktails and other special treatment along the way.

Toy Story 2 is driven by emotion.  One of the most moving and sad moments occurs when Jessie tells her tale of being forgotten by her owner, Emily. Man is that heavy stuff.  First, Woody’s havin’ creepy nightmares about his being left behind by Andy, then Jessie REALLY gets left behind by Emily, then Buzz gets rejected by Woody … it really makes you think doesn’t it?  The boundary between toys and humans thins considerably as we find our eyes watering at the realization that we, too, could be forgotten one day.  Morbid.

But this movie is far from depressing – it’s hilarious!  Witty one-liners and Buzz Lightyear imposters and married spuds and tour guide Barbies.  Oh, and more Star Wars homages. That’s when you KNOW a movie is good.  Just kidding.  But not really.

On a last note, the animation is incredible.  Those cheeto puffs look as edible as any I’ve ever eaten – I am absolutely amazed at the detail.  If you haven’t seen it yet, you’ve prob been living under a rock in Ghana, but see it.  You won’t regret it. 10/10