"I would find the lock because that was the only way to extend my 8 minutes with him. Maybe I could extend them forever." This quote accurately describes what it's like to grieve. You hold onto small things and memories and ideas in hopes that the person you lost will never fade entirely. It's a journey. A death, for the surviving friends and family, is not a one-time event. It doesn't end at the funeral. It is always just there."Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" is an acute examination of grief. 11-year-old Oskar Schell (played by the talented Thomas Horn) lost his father, Thomas (Tom Hanks) to the World Trade Center attack on September 11, 2001. Now a day that lives in infamy to all Americans also lives on as a constant reminder to all those who lost family members on that tragic day.
Oskar finds a key amongst his father's old belongings a year after his death. Through a series of notes, newspaper clippings and clues he wanders around New York into the homes of several strangers (all with the last name Black - a clue) searching for answers. He goesJohn Goodman), lying about the various holidays throughout the school year to accomplish his task. He visits many people and learns many things and makes some new friends. The notion that an 11-year-old boy can wander into the homes of strangers all over New York City safely is incredulous, but some of these visits are impressionable nonetheless. His first visit with an Abby Black (Viola Davis) stands out and sets his journey off on the right emotional foot.
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It is widely understood and recognized that there are five stages to grief. Of course every experience is different but these stages provide a framework for what many people experience when someone they love dies. This story examines those stages through Oskar.
Denial
The day of the attacks, Thomas calls home and leaves messages on the answering machine. Oskar was the only one who heard them and he hides under the bed and lies when his mom asks him about it. He later rips out the answering machine and hides it somewhere and says "it was like it never happened."
Anger
Oskar yells at his mom (Sandra Bullock) in a fury and says he wishes it were her in the building.
Bargaining
When he meets the mysterious renter living in his grandma's basement (Max von Sydow), he explains his story to him as quickly as he can get the words out. "And I don't know a single thing that I didn't know when I started! It's these times I miss my dad more than ever even if this whole thing is to stop missing him at all! It hurts too much." He would do anything to stop missing his dad - to have the pain go away, and so he obsesses over this fool's errand to do something about it.
Depression
Oskar throws a big box of keys in a flurry and runs along a bright red wall. He begins to realize that their search may be futile, and then he listens to those messages again and cries."
Acceptance
In one of the few scenes Oskar shares with his mom, they sit together on the bed and cry together. They (finally) connect with each other and share memories and ~talk. It is the beginning of the road to acceptance.
This movie is hard to watch. No one wants to know, remember, or feel what it feels like to lose someone. For those who did lose someone at 9/11, I'm so sorry. No film or story can provide the catharsis for such a tragedy and in many ways this film is far too simplistic to make the attempt. Over 4,000 people died that day, and yet these contrived stories try to help us feel happy about the one person who made peace. Those real-life people didn't have a puzzle to solve, they have a family member who is gone. Sometimes it all feels too forced and manipulative with an unclear picture at the end for what the ~point is.
While an interesting analysis on grief with two good performances from Von Sydow and Horn, the film is empty of any solid resolution. 5/10
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